Everyone is better than me, I think, everyone is better than, better than me.
Look what you’ve done, now I’m a mess. Today I even thought I’d wear a dress. It’s beautiful, so smart, and no good for me, at all.
These two months were so tough. So so tough. And I’m glad I managed to pull through until now. The amount of mental stress I had to go through when facing tight datelines, having to plan so many events.
I don’t know how long more I can bear and I don’t know if I will pull through it. I hope I do cause I refuse to fail. 😦
Please, please grant me the strength and the mental determination to overcome it.
1 more workshop. 1 more bursary ceremony. 1 more camp. I can do it. I know I can. I refuse to give up. I refuse to give in.
Sometimes I wished I wasn’t so capable. I wished I wasn’t such a perfectionist. I wished I could make do with substandard work. Lol. I wished I didn’t have such high expectations on myself. I wished I didn’t work so hard. I wished my manager would worry when she leave work with me rather than be so carefree when she throws work to me. I wish, I wish.
10 more days to the end of all these. And I’ve got to work next Sat and Sun as well. Followed by camp on Mon Tues and Weds. I can do it. I would look back and exclaim that I’ve done it. All on my own.