I’m not that strong.

温岚 – 刺猬

最后一抹的微笑 在转身之后
我闭上眼 哭了

仅存的一点点骄傲 华丽的外表终于丢掉
很徬徨很孤单 是寂寞或悲惨
一个人 该怎么办

像是刺猬般防范 伪装得勇敢
不轻易让你 看穿

我以为可以很坦然 面对分开时不觉得伤感
然而将灯关上 一片无声黑暗

我想我没那么坚强 每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱 却都害怕爱让人受伤
承认我没那么坚强 不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏 比傻瓜还傻
刺猬的坚强 全都是假象…

Today was really tough. I couldn’t sit in my office chair for more than 5 minutes cause I’ve got so many errands to run. I resorted to having to buy lunch and drinks for the kids who came for the frozen workshop. I felt like a nanny. But it’s okay. I was okay with it afterwards.

Sometimes I really enjoy taking the role of being the tough one and handling everything on my own. Or maybe I don’t learn how to delegate work to other people. And I don’t know how to reject people if I don’t want to do the work. So I end up taking it up and putting it in my already very full plate.

I think people who know me well will understand that I really like putting a tough front and completing things to my best ability in a perfectionist style. And I wonder, why can’t I just make do with things. Why am I so independent? Why do I always put on a tough front? Why do I always reject people’s help? Why do I always hide myself when I cry? Why do I never ask for help when I need it the most?

Is it pride? Is it cause I overestimate myself? Is it cause I don’t know how?

I cried. Hope I’ll feel better tomorrow and complete what has to be done. I can do this.


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