温岚 – 刺猬
渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱 却都害怕爱让人受伤
Today was really tough. I couldn’t sit in my office chair for more than 5 minutes cause I’ve got so many errands to run. I resorted to having to buy lunch and drinks for the kids who came for the frozen workshop. I felt like a nanny. But it’s okay. I was okay with it afterwards.
Sometimes I really enjoy taking the role of being the tough one and handling everything on my own. Or maybe I don’t learn how to delegate work to other people. And I don’t know how to reject people if I don’t want to do the work. So I end up taking it up and putting it in my already very full plate.
I think people who know me well will understand that I really like putting a tough front and completing things to my best ability in a perfectionist style. And I wonder, why can’t I just make do with things. Why am I so independent? Why do I always put on a tough front? Why do I always reject people’s help? Why do I always hide myself when I cry? Why do I never ask for help when I need it the most?
Is it pride? Is it cause I overestimate myself? Is it cause I don’t know how?
I cried. Hope I’ll feel better tomorrow and complete what has to be done. I can do this.